Before we get to the meat and potatoes of this post, let me first say that each and every one of the entrants who sent in an application was gorgeous and made the scumbags over at Shock Stock HQ go full wowiekazowie. Thank you again to everyone who did try out and trust me when I say that if we had the means, we’d bring every one of these gorgeous women down for the party. Never did we expect such a high calibre of talented and beautiful scream queens and sultry vixens.
Now, for the bad ( good ? ) news….. sorta.
Not that we can’t figure out basic math, but the tally of scores from the scumbag judges, the street cred and social media tracking, and obviously the votes from the thousands and thousands of fans who responded to all the sweetie pies, left us with our heads scratching.
It was a TIE !!!!
And not just a two way tie ..
A GOD DAMNED THREE WAY GOD DAMNED TIE!!!!
Who the hell came up with this scoring method? Or why the fuck did all you gorgeous gals have to have perfect photos, bajillions of Facebook, instagram, and twitter followers, and a reputation for being the best of the best??? WHY??!??!?
So, after a bit of shouting, panicking, and scrounging, the Shock Stock Scumbag crew has decided that the only way to break this tie is to BRING ALL THREE TO SHOCK STOCK FOR A LIVE TIE BREAKER!
Thats right, three gorgeous gals coming in to London on April 24 to duke it out (figuratively) for the title, with the SHOCK STOCK fans making the final call on the convention floor. It’s the only thing we could think of. (not true. Bilo had a few ideas of tie breakers that involved snap chat, deep creeps, and webcams but he got denied )
AND NOW, THE THREE MISS SHOCK STOCK TIE BREAKER TEASERS!!
This Burlesque beauty is Canada’s representative in the running and a force to be reckoned with on Facebook and Instagram. She’s hoping to keep the crown in the home country but time will tell!
Shotzi made twitter into her bitch, pumping out photos and videos like a true media monster! Shotzi also won over some of the scumbag judges when they found video clips of her throwing down in the squared circle as a full on wrestling diva. Corruption in the ranks? Accuse her of swerving the judges and she’ll drop kick you off the top rope!
Hollywood starlet shocked us just by entering our inaugural pageant but the truth is Sadie is an epitome of scream queen…. Though I seen her in Wrong Turn 6 and she was the one everyone was screaming and running from! Something about this gal makes my blood boil, and when she gets to SHOCK STOCK she’s promising a BLOODBATH!
So there you have it, folks! Three Winners, but only one crown ( or sash, or trophy, or laser jet printout certificate)
You want to meet these luscious gals in person? COME TO SHOCK STOCK 2015 AND WITNESS HORROR HISTORY!!
And avid GOREZONE readers be assured that once we got all these contestants here we’ll convince all of em to take a few pics with us for the magazine spread.